One of the reasons that this blog is so long in development is that I am frustrated with thousands of photos beautifully shot that sit currently on my hard drive but must be titled some form of “unknown.” I want this blog to reflect my self-education in natural sciences, and the unlabeled photos are just basically a bad grade for me.

A Thing found on Something.

I definitely don’t want to be a Taxonomic Hipster, someone who is likely to smugly inject some sort of sleezy brain-brag into a conversation.

“… so I told her to shove it up her butt,” said Normal Nellie, as she braked at a stop sign and diligently peered both left and right before continuing. “So then she said that’s exactly what…” Normal Nellie stopped mid-sentence just as she was about to ease past the stop sign, throwing her hands in the air and flapping them in a lunatic fashion. Her offended, self-righteous tone changed into a wail as a furry large insect floated through the open window. “OH MY GOD IT IS A BEE, WE ARE GOING TO DIE!” 

Her passenger smiled slightly and adjusted the thick, dark frames perched on her nose. Behind the lenses, the eyes were filled with both pity for her ignorant friend and a cynicism at the knowledge that finally she was going to fulfill the long-known destiny of death at the hands of such ignorance. “Actually, that’s a male carpenter bee, Xylocopa virginica, and since it’s a male, of course it doesn’t even have a stinger, not dangerous at all…” The smugness in the voice was unmistakable, even beneath the wailing from Normal Nellie that quickly changed from ungodly panic into something resembling a brute, raging, grunt as the car dived over a cliff.

A pedestrian witness testified later that right before impact, a sound suspiciously like the noise of a fist against flesh seemed clear, along with a screech that could be interpreted as words that were accusing someone of being a self-important twat.

*note:  The above reference link goes to one of the funniest pages on the internet.  Seriously, you miss out if you do not check out TheOatmeal.com.

What I do want to be is someone who is able to at least identify common species by common name and be able to use resources in a semi-efficient way to determine the full taxonomy at a later time. You would think that this would be somewhat simple, and that’s one of the frustrations about my failure thus far to find the correct names for whatever I’m looking at. There are some wonderful guides, obviously, and of course I know the common Peterson’s (which I dislike generally), National Wildlife Society, and Kauffmann’s, but at the same time I always seem to run into a particular problem when using the keys in these and other guides.

This is proving a problem currently with the caterpillars I’m rearing. Not only are there very few records for early instar caterpillars and eggs in identification (beyond of course monarchs), but a major clue that would significantly narrow possibilities is the host plant that they use. These plants are plants I find the eggs or larva on, and therefore know by sight. I have my little private names (“stupid-bush-that-attracts-boring-leafrollers” and “potentially-poplar-but-what-the-hell-do-I-know,” are a couple examples), but in determining just what type of caterpillar I am looking at is impossible based on those labels.

I realize that most of my mysteries are quite common specimens. However, when I look at common photos, it just does not click. I need to be able to look at a full-size, live specimen when hearing what it is called and then it seems to stick. Looking at guide photos leads me into paroxysms of strange OCD patterns that end up with a headache and rage. Therefore, please do help by filling in the “unknown” blanks in my subjects. Even if it’s so common that you are worried you’ll embarrass me, I really truly do not mind being corrected or instructed.

Again, the main reason for this blog is to document a self-educational process, and the only way to perfection and attaining my final goals of ruling the world under that perfection is to correct my current flaws.

Still, hopefully soon a site will develop around the mess that is currently taking up my screens, and you’ll all be treated to the infinitely entertaining tales of my adventures in following curiosity.

Lisha